Confessions of Adventurous Femininity

I'm not a foo foo person.  I don't wear much jewelry, I don't go for manicures or pedicures, I don't wear perfume, and I don't do bling.

So, what makes me feminine?  And what makes me adventurous?

I like dirt.
I don't necessarily like to be dirty, I just like dirt.  I love the smell, the feel, and the look.  I enjoy sinking my hands down into the coolness of the soil, planting seeds, pulling weeds, turning it over with my hoe or tiller until it's a fresh, loose beautiful mess of dirt.

And yet, I like to be clean.  Being refreshed by a shower and a good bar of soap, after a hard, sweating, dirty day outside makes me feel feminine and lovely once again.  Clean is my perfume fragrance of choice.

My favorite shoes are no shoes.
Barefoot.  The way the Good Lord intended it.

However, my toenails are almost always painted.  Feeling feminine down to my toes includes a good homemade pedicure, and a fresh coat of polish.

I wear my hair in a braid.
Maybe it's the call of my ancient Native American ancestors, or maybe it's the fact that I just want my hair out of my face.  Whatever the reason, I love braiding my hair.  It's simple, feminine, and makes me feel like a true farm girl.

My husband likes my hair long, so I have always tried to keep it that way for him.  Plus, my long hair makes me feel more girly and I can arrange it a number of ways.  I love curls, but save those for special occasions.  Another feminine aspect of who I am.

I kill snakes.
I hate snakes.  If I find one in my yard, I don't ask questions, he is readily decapitated.  Copperheads are a problem around here, and my handy flat head shovel takes care of business.  No, I'm not afraid, just disgusted.  And I can't wait around for my husband to come home from work, just to kill a poisonous snake. 

That being said, if my husband is home, I allow him to take care of the snake exterminating process. I still call upon my knight in shining armor to rescue me from the nasty, ugly, creepy, deadly creatures.

Did I mention I hate snakes?

I have my own drill.
It's true.  It's not a girly, pink, prissy drill, it's a heavy duty machine.  My husband gave it to me for our anniversary about 12 years ago.  I asked for it.  And I use it all the time.  I have used it to anchor screws in the wall, bore holes in wood, even make drainage holes in my plastic planters.  It comes in handy more than you would imagine.

Being able to act as a help meet to my husband includes working along side of him.  Because he has taught me so much in the way of "handiness", we can double up on projects and save time.  And, if your husband is like mine, he is so busy that sometimes those little projects that need attention, but he can't readily get to, I can handle on my own.  Saving him some time and trouble.  And the gratitude I receive is well worth it.  ;)

I know how to use a gun.
Yep.  And I'm pretty accurate.  My favorite gun is my pellet gun.  Does that even count?  I can't really hurt myself too badly with that one.  I've shot everything from tin cans to squirrels.  OK, I haven't actually shot a squirrel. I've tried, but they're fast little suckers.

Why do I know how to use a gun?  What if my husband is away and I need to defend my family?  What if I need to defend my livestock from predators?  What if I have to hunt for food?  What if zombies capture my kids?  OK,maybe not the zombies.  We've had mad dogs around here before, coyotes are present when we go camping, and when we move to the country in the future, it will be greatly beneficial for me to know how to use a firearm.

I carry a pocket knife.
You have no idea how much my pocket knife comes in handy.  I carry it in my pocket at all times.  I use it in the garden, in the house, I have even had the need to use it while out and about.  Truly, it's an invaluable accessory.  I'm serious.

My husband gave me my pocket knife for Christmas.  I am never without it.  He finds it a symbol of bravery, and non-arrogant self-reliance.  He still worries about me when I go out without him, and warns me to be careful and safe, yet he knows I won't do anything foolish or go into any situation unawares.

Oh yeah, and it annoys me when my skirts don't have pockets...

Being feminine doesn't mean I have to be a girly, useless, whimpering female who can't mange to make an intelligent decision or maintain a certain air of confidence and bravery.  I have a backbone.  And I need my husband.  I don't think I could ever live without him.  But I want to be useful to him, too.  My husband knows I rely on him for protection, safety, assurance, and provision, which gives him confidence that I respect his authority and I maintain my place as the weaker vessel.  Without being weak.  I believe there are many men that would admit to wishing their wives were able to handle most tough situations on their own, without stepping out from under their authority as a husband.

What makes me feminine?  Well, the obvious.......I wear skirts and dresses, I don makeup, fix my hair, I want to be pretty and womanly, I do my best to walk with poise and grace, and while acting out the duties of a wife and mother.  As for the "un"obvious, I work at a meek and quiet spirit, gentleness, and self-control.  I look to my husband for his wise opinions and advice, and I cater to him when I can.  I do my best to be a good example of a godly wife and mother to my children.  I try to be a good listener and confidant to my friends. I pray daily for patience and grace.  I fear the Lord, and abide in His goodness and perfect will.

"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."  Proverbs 31:25

Modest Mom Giveaway!

The Modest Mom has a great selection of modest skirts, tops, and shells.  You can enter the contest below for a chance to be blessed with a gift certificate to the Modest Mom Store!

Find contest information here at Raising Homemakers.

Modest Leggings

If you have toddlers and young daughters, you might find the need for undergarments to help with modesty.  Bloomers are adorable when they're babies, but at some point, they outgrow the bloomer stage and need something a little more "grown-up" to help keep them covered.

I have the perfect pattern for making leggings.

Knit Leggings

This is an e-pattern, but it's super simple, perfect for a beginner!  The pattern has one piece, from which you cut two pieces of fabric for your leggings.  The instructions include varying lengths of pant.  You can make them short, or ankle length, or some length in between!

They're just what I need for under the twin's dresses!

On the Subject of Trendiness

Trendy

A word I seem to hear often.  Even in my conservative Christian circle, I hear reference to that particular word......

“Surely I can dress modestly and still be trendy!” 

As a Christian woman, concerned with the issue of modesty, what is the motivation for dressing in a trendy style?

Whatever excuse you may make for yourself, it is basically because you wish to be accepted by the world.  To fit in and not be considered a freak or different.  Even though we are to be set apart, to be in the world, but not of it, the truth is, all too often we are enticed by what the world has to offer. 

Otherwise, why would it matter so much.

Why base your self-worth on something that's here today and gone tomorrow?

The definition of “trendy”:

1.  very fashionable; up-to-date
2.  marked by ephemeral, superficial, or faddish appeal or taste

How many times have we looked at fashions past, commented on how ugly or foolish some fads were, and before we know it, that same style is back.  Those who vehemently were against such style, now think "it's the cutest thing EVER!"  Really?  Because it's only going to fade away yet again and you'll look back thinking "why did I ever give in to that stupid trend?"

 But who determines style, trends, and fashion?  The world!  Enter the eternal struggle of Christians claiming to be in the world, but not of it.  The subject of “trend” or what’s “in style” has always been a stumbling block.  It is not for us to “lust” after the world and their rules, but to concern ourselves with the will of God.  And who really cares what we wear?  The world?  Is it really worth it?

Let me just say, that I am not against finding a style that suits you, whether it’s something that is currently trendy, or something that is considered out-dated.  Why not dress in a manner that is not only pleasing to the Lord, your brothers and sisters in Christ, but still holds true to your personality.  Be your own style, and make it who you are, not who the world thinks you should be.  I believe we can dress in a way that appeals to wholesomeness, modesty, and good taste and still not be "freakish".  Dressing appropriately doesn’t mean you have to give up personal style, but it does mean that you may have to give up the latest trend.

1 John 2:15-17

"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.  And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever."

Tea Time

Each afternoon (OK, almost each afternoon) around 3, my older girls and I meet up in the kitchen for a tea time.  Over tea, and whatever delicious treat the girls have cooked up that day, we usually spend about half an hour reading and discussing our current "devotional" Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale and Karen Andreola.  Our mother/daughter time together has been such a blessing for me, and I pray that it's time well spent.  I truly enjoy getting to know my daughter's hearts, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be instrumental in training them to be godly young ladies.  

Oh yes, and here is our usual tea time centerpiece...

The Pollyanna Bow

(My cutie-pie 3yo twins)

Several months ago, I created what my sweet friend, Lindy, deemed "The Pollyanna Bow".  There may be other bows out there like this one, I haven't looked, but thankfully, it's been a popular seller for me.  I love it because it's perfect for my big girls who are into Little House on the Prairie, Grandma's Attic, Elsie Dinsmore, etc.  This style tends to take you back to a time when girls were girls and they stayed innocent and pure.  Simpler times, and of times when femininity was important to a young lady.  If you are interested in my simple and old-fashioned bow, you can find it at http://www.flopsybunny.com/.  Currently, I have eight colors available, but I will be adding a few more for the fall and winter months.  Thanks for looking!

Sweet Petticoat Slip Dress | Featured Products | YouCanMakeThis.com

Sweet Petticoat Slip Dress YouCanMakeThis.com

This pattern has to be one of my favorites! I love how simple it is, yet so girly and feminine. I have made the twins a couple of dresses, and  a nightgown for each. Quite a versatile pattern and it is SUPER easy to make!  The only thing I changed on it was the ruffle.  In the instructions, you are supposed to fold the ruffle in half, long ways, and then sew to the bottom of the dress.  I didn't fold it in half, but left it wider, which gave the dress a long ruffle and lengthened it all around.  OK, back to sewing......!

Finding True Beauty

A sweet friend posted this last week and I asked her if I could share it with you all. Thanks, Stacy!


Finding True Beauty

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

Being beautiful is so much more than make up, clothing, and a brand new hair-do. We’ve all known people we believed to be beautiful until they opened their mouth and revealed the ugliness that dwelled within them. In teaching our children about beauty we have to, as with every area of parenting, focus on the heart issue first. Where does beauty come from? In what ways can I show true beauty? Who am I beautifying myself for? When Mother Teresa and Princess Diana of Wales died the same week, it was a study in the contrast of true beauty. Looking to God’s word as our standard, we see true beauty revealed not in clothing and hair styles but in gentleness and strength, submission and dignity, purity and reverence. Proverbs 31:30 proclaims, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Where does beauty come from?

1 Peter 3:1-6 1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Before today, I had never noticed submission tied to womanly beauty, along with the exhortation to “not give way to fear.” How often we are tempted to not submit because of fear. Unless we’re asked to do what is unbiblical or immoral, this passage and many others are clear on the wife’s role in submitting to her husband. Fearing the outcome if we submit ourselves to our own husbands, we often give in to fear and instead demand our own way. God’s word acknowledges this and tells us not to give in to that fear, but rather to do what is right, then we can trust the Lord with the outcome knowing that if we obey His word He will protect us and bring about the good He desires in our life, and we’ll be beautiful in the process.

Romans 12:1-2
1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

1 Samuel 16:7
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Proverbs 11:22 Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (Great word picture!)

Clothing – Who am I Dressing For?

Is it wrong to wear jeans? How short is too short for my skirt? What about necklines? When we’re asking these questions our focus is on the background instead of on the heart, which should be the forefront of our thinking. Asking how close I can get to the line without crossing it, misses the point of holiness entirely. We are to be conformed to God’s image and not to the world’s. In God’s way of thinking, we are commanded to consider others more highly than ourselves. If the way I am dressing causes a weaker brother to stumble that is not being loving and gracious toward him, considering his needs above my own. Now, am I responsible for his sin? No. But am I tempting him? It’s a valid question to be considered especially in light of the scripture in Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 & 31-32
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. 24Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God . 32Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Stay away from every form of evil. (Avoid the very appearance of evil - KJV)

Matthew 5: 27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery. 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Men and women view clothing very differently. Read that again… Men and women view clothing very differently. It’s true, it really is, ask your husband. Men are very visually oriented and what they see is processed entirely differently than it is in a woman. When a man sees a woman dressed in tight or revealing clothing, carrying herself “that way”, or even looking flirtatiously at him it is a temptation. You don’t have to believe me, just read the warnings in Proverbs. We need to make our young ladies aware of these differences so they can understand how their behavior affects others. They may love the way that shirt feels and those jeans fit, but is it worth her exercising her freedom to possibly cause a brother to stumble. Most young ladies are not aware of this and are incredulous when they do find out. I, in fact, was married for about 10 years before I really began to understand that men and women are truly dissimilar from each other in this area. It’s something I want to share with my children and possibly smooth their path saving them some of the pain I endured.

Prioritizing Properly Because of the Brevity of Physical Beauty

Eccl 3:11a He has made everything beautiful in its time.

My Emily (13) told me this verse is very meaningful to her in her self-image. There is a time for every girl to “bloom” God knows when that time is. If a flower blooms too early or too quickly it will not be a lasting flower.

1 Peter 1:24 For, "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall,

Psalm 90:10 &12
10 The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span [a] is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away. 12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

… and when we gain wisdom, look what it does:

Ecclesiastes 8:1 Wisdom brightens a man's face and changes its hard appearance.

A Warning:

The Lord Judged Haughtiness related to appearance

Isaiah 3: 16 The LORD says, "The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles.
17 Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the LORD will make their scalps bald."
18 In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, 19 the earrings and bracelets and veils, 20 the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, 21 the signet rings and nose rings, 22 the fine robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses 23 and mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls.
24 Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding.